Relationships University

5 reasons why dating your flatmate is a bad idea

Credit: Toa Heftiba - Unsplash - The Growing Up Guide

I’m going to begin this article with a little anecdote. Sometimes, you need to hear a first-hand experience from someone before understanding why something is a terrible idea.

In my first year of university, I lived with four other people, two girls and two boys. I got on with them all very well. I clicked with one of my male flatmates almost instantly, and a couple of months into my first year, our friendship blossomed into a relationship. Granted, we had a rocky start due to other reasons, but we stayed together for 10 months and at the time, everything seemed okay but ultimately, it wasn’t.

We had an extremely difficult break-up at the beginning of my second year and then had to live in a house together for a year. Luckily, we both got into new relationships during that year and I’m actually very happy for him now. But here are just a few of the reasons why dating your flatmate is possibly one of the worst decisions you can make…

Your flatmates may not approve

Your flatmates didn’t sign up to live with a couple. Public displays of affection may not be appreciated by the people you live with and you must respect their feelings.


A relationship at university is intense enough due to all the work you have and all of the changes you go through. But when you LIVE with them, it’s ten times more intense. Especially when you start bickering, it always hurts you more because there’s nowhere for you to escape the arguments.

Time is going quickly

When you live with your boyfriend, everything speeds up! You meet the parents almost straight away, you stay in the same bed as soon as you get together and you cook together. Everything is very intense and your relationship is naturally rushed.

The breakup

Although you don’t want to believe it, it’s inevitable that your relationship will come to an end. And trust me, it’s awkward! You find yourself listening out for when they’ve left the kitchen so you can go down to make a cup of tea and you time your shower so you don’t bump into them. It makes your living situation very stressful and not just for you, but your other flatmates.

Ruins a friendship

I honestly feel like I could have had a super close friendship with my flatmate but getting into a relationship completely destroyed the chances of that. If I could go back and change what happened between us, I certainly would!

I always tell myself that I don’t regret dating my flatmate because I learnt a lot over those 10 months. However, I will always be the first person to steer someone away from making this choice.

Do you have “the hots” for your flatmate? What is your opinion on dating flatmates? 



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