Grown up stuff Marriage & Babies

I don’t want kids, so please stop telling me that I do

"I do want to start a family, more than most things really; it just so happens that that family doesn’t include children."

Credit: Tim Bish - Unsplash - The Growing Up Guide

For as long as I can remember I’ve known that I don’t want children at any point in my life. And for some reason this has always been controversial amongst friends and family.

People just don’t seem to understand why I wouldn’t ‘a little bundle of joy’ of my own to look after.  Especially now that I’m in my twenties, I have more and more people calling me out on this decision for some reason. Some even going as far as to call me selfish for not wanting to give grandchildren to my parents.

“But you’re good with children” is a thing I hear all the time. You know what else I’m good with? Chugging bottles of wine and injuring my ankle, that doesn’t mean I want it to be a permanent fixture in my later life. Being good with something doesn’t immediately make it enjoyable or right for you. Whilst I may be good with children, I balance that out by being awful with babies. They freak me out a bit, mostly because they always stare at me.

“You’ll want to start a family when you meet the right person”. I do want to start a family, more than most things really; it just so happens that that family doesn’t include children. And that’s fine. Children aren’t the be all and end all, and people shouldn’t feel pressured into it because they feel like they should.

I actually read an article before I wrote this that basically said, if you say you don’t want kids then you better find something to fill your life with, because you’re going to be bored and unfulfilled. It’s that exact kind of idea being pushed on to me that annoys me the most. If you’re relying on children to stop your life becoming boring, or to feel some kind of worth, maybe that just reflects more on you? I can tell you one thing for sure, I definitely won’t be bored when I’m 45, I’ll for sure be cruising along on my child-free yacht.

No matter what way I look at my life I can’t picture children being there. The lifestyle I intend to lead would not be a fair lifestyle to bring a child in to. I want to travel the world in it’s entirety, work hard at a job I love and spend plenty of time looking after myself and keeping myself well. And in my eyes, I can’t do all of this and give a child a good life at the same time. So why I should I be made to feel guilty about this?

Never in my life have I looked at someone like they have three heads when they talk about how many children they want. So please don’t look at me like that when I tell you I want zero.

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2 comments

  1. I think it’s wrong that people make comments about this. It is no one else’s business if you don’t want children. Also, how insensitive is it if you say this to someone who does want children but can’t? You never know what is going on in other people’s lives so you shouldn’t go prying.

    I never wanted children until I met my partner and now I do. I think he’d be a great father and that makes me look forward to having children however, before him when I didn’t want children, I would feel so awkward in conversations about ‘when are you going to have children?’ But why should I have?

    Also, this has me in stitches: Chugging bottles of wine and injuring my ankle, that doesn’t mean I want it to be a permanent fixture in my later life.

    Steph x
    http://Www.wanderlustpulse.com

    Like

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