Relationships University

Why it’s OK to drift from friends

Credit: Roberto Nickson - Unsplash - The Growing Up Guide

One of the hardest parts of growing up and becoming an adult is the realisation that holding onto friendships just isn’t that easy. Remember, when you left school and made countless promises to people that you would always remain friends? You probably don’t even speak to them anymore and if you do then you are extremely lucky.

As our busy lives become consumed with work and other commitments, it is easy to loose touch with people. The hardest part is when those people are your best friends. It’s so easy in these situations to blame oneself for not making an effort or being too busy but in reality it is all a part of being an adult.

A big part of this transition into adulthood is learning the difference between those you have drifted from and those you have lost.

On days when you are feeling down and realising the amount of friends you haven’t spoken to or seen in a while, it’s easy to get the two confused. If you have truly lost a friend mentally, this is usually down to an unresolved argument in the past. Drifting from people however is very different.

Just because you don’t speak or see someone on a regular basis, even if it’s only once or twice a year, that doesn’t mean that you are no longer friends. You may not share every aspect of your life with each other as you once did but when you get together some bonds are unbreakable. This is drifting, this is growing up and realising that adulthood takes control whether you want it to or not and that’s okay.

Not only is this something that you have to accept yourself but you also need your friends to understand.

When you fall in and out of contact, it is easy to blame the other person for not trying. Sometimes this is the case but sometimes life really does get in the way.

With social media it’s easier than ever to stay in contact but when you no longer live around the corner or even in the same county as one another then it really can be difficult.

As adults, both parties need to understand and accept this in order for a friendship to remain.

Even if you lose contact with a large group of friends, if you truly know that you made just as much effort as them, then it is okay to not blame yourself.

As time goes by, you begin to learn the difference between losing friends and drifting.

Although you should always try your hardest to stay in touch, it is easy to get caught up in other priorities.

Those friends who you can ring at any time with a problem no matter how long you have gone without talking; those are true friends.

Those friends who you can meet up with once a year and act like no time at all has past; those are you true friends.

It’s okay to drift from people, as long as you are there for them and they are there for you when you need each other, then that friendship will never die.




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