Moving Out University

5 things to do when you’re not getting along with a flat mate

Credit: Greg Raines - Unsplash - The Growing Up Guide

When you first move out of home and move in with friends or even strangers, there is always that possibility that you will not get along living together. After all, there is a big difference between hanging out with someone in your spare time and actually living with them.

Whether you fall out or you simply just don’t click, not getting along with a flat mate can very quickly become uncomfortable.

So what can be done to help ease the situation in order to make the living environment bearable?

Well here is a list of things that you can do to make things a little bit better for both yourself and everyone else.

Try and resolve the situation

When you start to realise that you’re not quite clicking with a member of your house, it is very easy to get wound up at every little thing they do.

It’s best to try to nip it in the bud as soon as possible. After all, living with someone who you can’t even say hello to is not going to be pleasant.

Talk to the person, you’ll probably find the feeling is mutual. Instead of loosing a friend or preventing a friendship from happening you need to talk to each other and compromise in order to find a way to live together.

Be polite and civil

If you really are finding it difficult to live with eachother then you at least need to try and be civil. The chances are you’re probably tied down to a contract that you are unable to get out of, especially if you are at university.

Whilst neither of you may want to spend quality time with one another, you need to make the environment polite and civil for everyone else around you. Especially if you’re living with a number of other people who don’t particularly want to be involved in the dispute.

Try and say hello to each other or ask how each other’s day has been. This may take a lot of tongue biting but being rude and constantly arguing is not going to make the situation any better.

Be respectful!

This is probably the most important thing to remember when you are not getting along with a flat mate.

Just because you are not seeing eye to eye, this doesn’t mean that you need to go out of your way to be disrespectful to each other.

If you know the other person has a lot of studying to do or maybe isn’t feeling very well, don’t blast your music so loud that the whole street can hear. Or if you find yourself in need of the washing machine don’t just dump the other person’s laundry on the floor because they haven’t had time to remove it.

Being respectful is the bare minimum expectation when you’re not getting along with a flat mate. Not only is it the right thing to do but it will also reduce any unnecessary rows.

Remove yourself from the situation

It is very easy to isolate yourself into your bedroom when things are tense at home. This is even more the case if the fall out reaches the point where you feel you need to avoid communal areas when the other person is in there.

In order to stop yourself becoming lonely and completely cut-off, try to find tranquillity outside of the house. Get in touch with other friends, take walks or even just catch up on your work.

Removing yourself from the environment can make you feel 10x better when you return.

Stay close to the rest of the house

It is important to remember that just because you are not getting along with one person this does not mean that everyone in the house is against you.

It is very easy to feel alone or a nuisance when you are not getting along with a flat mate.

Most people will probably tell you that they don’t want to get involved or pick sides and this is okay. This doesn’t mean they don’t want to spend time with you even if it feels like it at the time. You can still hang out with them, just don’t talk about the other person.

If you find yourself needing to get out of the house for a while, grab a flat mate and go and do something. Don’t be afraid to ask for some of their time, this doesn’t mean you are creating divide.

As long as you don’t ask them to pick sides or purposely leave the other person out on outings then you are doing nothing wrong by spending time with others in the house.



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