Back in the olden days, you fell in love with someone, married them, started a family and that was that! Romantic, eh?
Well, we’re far from that now. It’s 2017 and it goes a little bit like this…
You meet someone, you text them for a while, you “Netflix and chill” at the weekend and then all of a sudden – it’s over and you find yourself tagging your friends in “fuck-boy memes” on Facebook.
Fun fact: More people are choosing to stay single for longer, or indefinitely.
“Back in the 1950’s, married couples outnumbered singles by 37.1 million, but after the last census in 2015, that number has shrunk to 12.1 million.”
It’s very common to hear people say they love being single because it’s fun and they have a lot of freedom. But, I also hear people say that they love being in a relationship because they always have someone to go for a meal with or go to the cinema with.
According to “Facebook Data Science”, couples who make it to 3 months usually end up together for at least 4 years.
So my question is, after 3 months, does that mean it’s love? How do you know whether you’ve met “the one” or if you just really enjoy the sex?
From personal experience, I feel like a reliable source for you to take advice from. Here are my 7 signs that you could be in love…
The first thought
If you wake up and the first thing you think of is that person and they’re also your last thought before you fall asleep – they’re probably more than a shag!
When something exciting happens, they are the first person you want to tell. Same goes for any bad news you receive… You go to them for support first.
They come first
Do you prioritise their needs above their own? That’s love.
Humans are incredibly selfish even if we don’t like to admit it. If your own needs seem trivial in comparison to theirs, you’ve caught the love bug!
PDA? No problem
You’re not afraid to give them a big kiss in the supermarket or snuggle up to them in the pub.
If you don’t feel embarrassed about showing them off in front of the whole world – you’re in it for the long run rather than the occasional booty call.
Flaws aren’t a big deal
Nobody is perfect. If you see their imperfections as an annoyance and you think badly of them because of their flaws – you’re not in love.
When you love someone, their imperfections seem more like unique qualities and you learn to (secretly) love them because it makes you realise how much you know this person.
Having the capacity to embrace flaws is unlikely to happen unless you fall in love.
You think about the future
When you’re in love with someone, it’s difficult to envision a future without them in it. You will think long-term and how you can build a future with this person.
You will also find it easy to resist any temptation that could mess up your long-term goals. If you’re just sleeping with someone, long-term plans can freak you out.
You become a better version of yourself
We all have room for improvement but being in love puts a little bit of positive pressure on you to make changes sooner than you would if you were single.
You want to be the best possible version of yourself for them because you feel like they deserve that.
You’ve found yourself a best friend
At some point, this person becomes your best friend without you realising. This happens to the majority of people who fall in love. You do almost everything together, you share everything (granted, sometimes too much.) And you learn everything about each other.
For the record…
A couple of things to note if you think they just want sex… They probably do if:
- They only compliment you on your appearance
- Conversations always take a sexual direction
- Texts and calls are almost ALWAYS flirty
- Dates just don’t happen
- They resent you if you’re not in the mood for sex or foreplay
- You never hug or kiss without it turning into sex
- Foreplay is over and done with before you can blink
- You don’t have “sleep-overs”
- You rarely speak during the day
- You’ve not met their friends and they rarely speak about them
- They don’t want to hear it if you want a serious conversation
- You FEEL like a booty call
Go with your gut. I personally believe if you truly love someone, you just know and if you feel like someone just wants sex, there’s no harm in confronting them. That way, you’re giving them the perfect opportunity to be honest with you which means you can make a decision.
If you’re happy to have a bit of fun before you’re ready to settle down, that’s more than ok! Sometimes casual sex can lead to something more serious. This isn’t always the case though, so don’t get your hopes up! Stay safe, have fun and most importantly, be happy!