Recently I decided to have a “casual” relationship with a guy I fancied. After months and months of tirelessly trying to understand if this person liked me, he finally confessed he did one night while drunk. The morning after he spent hours explaining to me he did not want a relationship, but totally understood if I did.
Don’t get me wrong, that was very considerate of him, but I was very confused since for the past months I had quite openly told him multiple times I wasn’t looking for a relationship.
What was even more shocking was the fact he thought I wasn’t “being serious” about wanting something casual.
Apparently, a woman must want a relationship at all costs and this presumption just drives me insane.
Relationships are nice. You get to know a person, you fall for them, you understand their quirky habits, learn to accept their faults, you create memories and share your life.
I have become a pro at relationships in the past years – I can’t even say I’m showing overconfidence when I say I am very, very good at making relationships work.
This does not mean I want a relationship every time I fancy a guy.
Relationships are also complicated and there are times in life when easy is the only option I would go for.
Let’s clarify here. I know the first thought that will come to people’s mind when I say this is “you want to sleep around then?” – No, not that there is anything wrong with it cause by all means if you enjoy that go for it, I’m sure it’s a lot of fun, but it doesn’t really work for me.
There is an in-between, folks. You can enjoy someone’s company and feel attached to them. Without being madly in love, without wanting to marry them, live with them or share your life with them.
Relationships require a ridiculous amount of commitment, and that is something that at this point in life I can only guarantee to myself.
I’m in my mid-twenties, working five part-time jobs and on a full-time degree. Having a boyfriend would require time that I just don’t have and quite frankly that I do not want to spend worrying about another person.
Unfortunately, guys just know what a girl wants by the way she looks.
The presumption a woman who looks and acts like ‘the girl next door’ must want to commit to a man is so utterly irritating, I can’t even begin to describe why it is so wrong on so many levels.
I see a guy, I think he’s attractive, I get to know him, I may want to hang out, have sex, cuddle, chill, look at his pretty face or his nice body, whatever – I don’t want his babies.
I don’t want to text him goodnight and good morning every day. I don’t want to share every single detail of my life with him.
I just want to enjoy that nice, warm feeling of having a crush and acting on it. Feeling wanted without all the drama, feelings, trust and all of that attached to most serious relationships.
There is this idea going around that women need a man to fulfil their lives, and if they say they don’t, they must be lying.
Let’s get this straight – I am very happy with my current freedom, I enjoy my life and I don’t really need another person to make it any better because it’s pretty good already, and just like me there are tons of other women who are just fine being single and actually want to be.
Casual relationships are an option, so is being single. Remember that!