Lifestyle Relationships Uncategorized

Combatting loneliness; making it a mission

The Growing Up Guide alone woman friends person lonely

“Your daughter is a bit of a loner, isn’t she?”

The term lonely has been pinned to me from a very young age; it was the lack of birthday invites, the very few friends, or a tendency towards solitude.

But the thing is: to be alone does not mean that you are lonely.

As indicated by my nose always being a book. Because books can be friends, sometimes, particularly if it seems like the characters are real.

Yet, the transition out of college after A levels was hard. It still is.

Virtually everyone I knew was off to university, with bright ideas, and a hint of idealism. I chose to stay at home, in order to study for a Journalism qualification locally. 

Since leaving college, I haven’t had much of a social life; it’s also very hard for me to connect with people, due to a diagnosis of Aspergers Syndrome. – What a *big* surprise that was! I had always known that I was different…

But it was this element that has left me lonely; staying in, not going out. My classmates are friendly, but we have very different lifestyles, and (I don’t think) any live very close to me.

So, how to combat this loneliness? I started with a list.

Social meet-ups: get involved

There’s a wonderful organisation called the City Girl Network; various cities that fall under it have set up meetings for women my age, and the cities each have their designated magazines.

I’ll be going to a meet up soon in Brighton, hopefully to meet some people.

Clubs or lessons

Personally, joining the gym hasn’t worked for me; I prefer a weekly pilates session. But there are always various clubs locally. A pen pal recently asked me for help for the same issue, and this is what I suggested; should have taken a leaf out my own book!


Whether it’s a political party or a charity shop, there are always people who need help. And, in the process, you also get to meet people.

Volunteering during a local by-election was a very interesting experience for me; I got to meet some very interesting characters. Anyway: it’s a good way to make friends, as I regularly meet up with another lady I met.

Events: put yourself out there

I’m a trainee journalist, as well as a Blogger; this means that there are events to go to, and people to see.

As a Blogger, I’m really excited for the London Blog Convention; this event will allow you to network with fellow Bloggers. I’m also excited for the Byline festival-a fringe festival with speakers, workshops, and performers.

Overall, I guess the idea is to maximise the amount of people who you meet, and to keep in contact that’s mutual. After all, pestering is not on. We all know this by now.

To be lonely is not a nice feeling.

According to the High Low podcast, there is apparently a UK minister for loneliness. I think this is pretty reflective that there is a national problem.

But to be alone does not mean that you are lonely.



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