Being a young mother is difficult. It can be overwhelming; scary; stressful and absolutely exhausting. But it’s the same whatever age you are.
It can also be the most rewarding experience, leave you laughing for hours and leave you feeling so warm and whole inside that nothing can take your happiness away.
I’m lucky enough to be the mother to two wonderful children, named Sophie (aged 5) and Oliver (aged 10 months).
I was only 14 years old when I found out I was going to be a mum for the first time; sat in a Doctor’s office, beyond terrified and wondering what I was supposed to do.
Now, I have just celebrated my 21st birthday and am planning a wedding with my children’s father, whilst enjoying being a full-time mum to my two incredible kids and loving every single second – and all those fears and doubts I had, feels like a lifetime ago.
When I was first told I was pregnant, I was initially flooded with complete and utter fear. There was absolutely no way I was ready for a baby – I was still just a kid myself, and I was still in school. I hadn’t even begun to live my life yet.
But then, shortly my feelings were overcome with a sense of relief – relief that my endless visits to the doctors every other day for a month, wondering why I was so sick and all the medication they were giving me wasn’t working was over, because finally I had an answer.
Finally, I knew what was wrong with me, and it wasn’t anything majorly serious (in the bigger scheme of things – emotionally yes, maybe). Even though this final diagnosis opened up a whole new can of worms, at least it was an answer and it was something I could deal with – one way or another. I had control over my body again.
Following the news, I was rushed to hospital as it was believed that my pregnancy was an Ectopic one. Thankfully, it wasn’t.
However, the experience was key to my final decision to having my daughter.
The one thing I will always remember, is sitting in the car on the way to the hospital just hoping that everything would be okay with the baby so that I could make my own decision on what to do, and that it wouldn’t be taken away from me.
Thankfully, everything was okay and my prayers were answered.
It’s key to mention that I was extremely early in my pregnancy at this point, and my daughter wasn’t even fully formed into a baby yet – I even had a scan and she was shown as a little bean.
Yet, I was already thinking of her as a baby – and it didn’t take me long to realise that by hoping that my baby was okay, I was already thinking like a mum. I already was a mum. Subconsciously, my decision had been made already.
From that moment on I was pretty much hooked.
It took some time for everything to settle down, and for me to properly get my head wrapped around everything. But once I had, I quickly realised that I had already formed a bond with this tiny human inside of me.
I tried to imagine other alternatives, but for me they didn’t feel like options. They were unimaginable. This was my baby, and I knew what I wanted. It sounds completely insane, and many would argue that a 14-year-old shouldn’t be able to make the decision –but thankfully my parents were beyond supportive.
For me, it was insane to think of not having my baby, to even think of not becoming a mum – when it was obvious that I already was one.
It wasn’t easy, it was far from it. I suffered stigma at school, and a lot of people expected me to fail. I don’t really think many expected me to grow up and have a second child a few years later, to be planning a wedding with the father of my children and to be happy.
Many believed I had completely ruined my life by deciding to keep my daughter, but I have always argued otherwise. I was on a downward spiral, not caring about school or where I was going with my life – then suddenly it wasn’t about me anymore, it was about a whole other person.
Having my daughter, changed everything for the best and she saved me. She came at the perfect time.
On the 22nd of September 2012, at the age of 15, I welcomed my beautiful little girl into the world. The moment I held her, I knew that any doubts I had that I couldn’t do this, that I couldn’t be her mum meant nothing. All she needed was somebody to love her, and I haven’t stopped loving her since.
Five years later, on the 5th April 2017, we welcomed our gorgeous little boy into the world as well and a whole new adventure began – one that I’m still learning how to handle, but one that I am loving every second off.
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