Relationships University

Finding the balance between your relationship and university

The Growing Up Guide love

University can be a hard enough journey by itself, but add a relationship into that mix, and things can start to get a bit complicated. But do you always have to sacrifice your relationship for your degree?

Before you even begin to embark on the adventure that is university, people are always telling you that it’s never going to work.

Either you’re too young, or you’ll get bored, or someone will definitely end up being unfaithful.

But why is this always the case? Can we not avoid the stigma that in order to have fun at university you have to break up with your hometown sweetheart?

Inevitably, yes, a lot of couples do break up in that first semester of university. For some the indirect influences from the first year lifestyle can cause this; especially during freshers week.

Being in a crowd full of new singletons can make you second guess whether your relationship is worthwhile. But if you can make it through these first few tough weeks, girl, take it from me, you can make it through three years.

So, you’ve managed those first couple of months and you’re still head over heels with your partner? That’s the first hurdle complete. The most difficult part of being at uni and being in a relationship at the same time is finding the balance between the two.

Work too much and your relationship might take the back seat, but spending too much time with your significant other may result in crappy grades.

To help you find a middle-ground among the chaos that is university life, here are some of our top tips for finding the balance:

Stop procrastinating

Easier said than done, we know that, but just remember how much it’ll help you out in the long run. It’s such a rewarding feeling to be able to spend the weekend with your partner without having the nagging worry of overdue work creeping over your shoulder.

Even if you just free up some space by reading a couple of chapters of that book, or getting a head start on that essay, anything is better than nothing, and each word you get a head of equals more time to spend loved up instead of worked up. You know the saying, ‘Work Hard, Play Hard’.

Teamwork is dreamwork

Ok, so that whole ‘Stop Procrastinating’ spiel didn’t really work for you? Fair enough, I don’t expect everyone to have the motivational skills of Leslie Knope. But, here’s an idea; why don’t you work together?

If you’re both at uni together, who says you can’t make a library session into a library date? Or if one of you is away from home, try to find the positives in that instead.

Try and incorporate work into one of your skype sessions (yes, I do realise how boring this sounds as I write it out), either by helping each other with what you need to do, getting your partner to test you for that big test coming up, or simply work simultaneously in blissful, yet comfortable, silence.

Either way, just try to show your partner that they are prioritised in some sort of way.

Don’t lose sight of your aspirations

As significant as relationships can be in your life, do not EVER forget why you are at university in the first place. If at any one point you feel that your relationship is taking over your degree, speak about it.

If your partner truly loves you, they will fully understand that sometimes you do need to prioritise work over them.

After all, it was you that chose to pay to come here and get a career out of it, even if that means finding a job in a different city; a strong relationship will find a means to make it work, without sacrificing each other’s ambitions.

Remember to have as much fun as humanly possible

After all, these are your uni years; 3 irreplaceable years of blood, sweat, and tears – both in your work and on nights out. Degree aside, when you step out into the real world of adulting, you don’t want to remember meaningless arguments at 3am with your s.o, you’ll want to reminisce all the fun memories you made not only with your beau, but with all your friends and flatmates too.

I’d like to think that 3 years of university plus the past 4 years I’ve spent with my partner has only strengthened our relationship, and I hope this gives me the expertise to share with you how I’ve made it through.

Just remember, don’t listen to all your single friends who tell you to end it because they’re bored, you do you.



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